


the universe should be seen by your eyes (as i see you)

by clexatrashforlife19



Category: The 100
Genre: Death, Grieving
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-28
Updated: 2016-03-28
Packaged: 2018-05-29 14:56:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6380764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clexatrashforlife19/pseuds/clexatrashforlife19
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke is left alone to mourn Lexa</p>
            </blockquote>





	the universe should be seen by your eyes (as i see you)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Leskru](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Leskru).



> Hey everyone, this is a bit short but I wrote it fairly quickly and just wanted to get some angst/emotions out so I hope you guys like it!

Almost. We were almost free of our people, of responsibilities that kept us apart. We were promised that maybe someday, we would be able to love each other without the weight of the world on our shoulders. Someday I could hold your hand while walking through the markets, Heda and Wanheda, a love story that people only dream of having. We almost had the luxury of loving and being loved by the person who put the stars in the sky and held us like the gravity on this desolate Earth. She gave me her heart and despite everything she was taught she believed that love was not weakness, our love as strong as the army of the twelve clans. 

Clutching her cloak closer around my body, I bury myself within it. Earth. Love. Strength. The smells that fill my nose as I take a deep breath. The drawing I had done of her, discarded on the table in front of me. I took for granted the moment we had, saying I’d finish it later. Believing that we’d get one more day. Now I know, never believe in maybes and somedays. It will always be an almost. Almost happy, almost together. The beautiful woman who, regardless of all the hate I had thrown at her, still believed in me. She respected me, she understood the weight of the crown. 

“Why did you have to go and do something so fucking stupid?! You were so stupid!” I yell, throwing off the warmth, stalking over and snatching up the paper where her image lay. The soft features of her sleeping face remind me that I will never trace that sharp jaw. I’ll never watch her eyes flutter closed as I drag my fingers down her back, her mouth in an O as we come together. I’ll never see that small smile that she saves only for my presence. She’s gone and it’s my fault. Another casualty of my love. “I should’ve saved you! I failed you, I failed us!” Crumbling the paper, I throw it behind me. The tears fall down my cheeks, spinning around I lunge for the fireplace. The flames lapping at the edges of the drawing. 

“No no no no! No! NO!” I scream, pulling it out. Ignoring the flames that burn my skin, I stare at the charred remains. 

“WHY DID YOU HAVE TO LEAVE ME HERE?!” Dropping to my knees, I stare down at the closed eyes. 

“I can’t do this alone, Lex. I can’t do this without you. I feel empty. I miss you so much. I miss your laughter, the shudder of your body when I trail my fingertips down your back. I miss your lips on mine, your fingers tangled in mine as we lay watching the sun rise. We almost had what we only dreamed of, we were so close and you were taken from me because of me. I lose everyone I love.” Crawling into her bed, I bring her pillow to my face. 

“I need you.” I whisper, my voice broken. Closing my eyes I conjure her face to the forefront of my conscious. Those green eyes, staring up at me with more love than I’ve ever seen. 

“Don’t be afraid Clarke.” She had whispered, it was so like her. She thought of my well being before her own. “Death is not the end” The words invade my mind. 

“Lexa, I love you. I never got to tell you, I thought- I thought we’d be okay. That maybe someday life really would be about more than just surviving. We could leave our people behind, just you and I. All we needed was our love.” 

“We still have our love, Clarke. You are never alone, I will always be here; to hold you, to support you even when it gets hard to stand. I’m here to hold you up.” Her voice clear as day, my eyes snap open. Before me, the tall brunette, a small smile on that breath taking face. 

“Lexa?” I ask, scrambling out of bed before making my way to her. Reaching out, her hands meets mine, our fingers locking together. “How? How are you here?” I ask, not believing my eyes.

“I told you, death is not the end, hodnes.” I can’t contain myself, I kiss her, our lips meeting in a kiss that could’ve burned through Polis in minutes.  
⁰“I’m never leaving you, Clarke. Not even in death.” She pulls me back to bed, slipping in beside me. Her arms wrapped tightly around like they were moments after we made love. “I love you, Clarke.” The words tumble out, the click on the k on her tongue making everything real. Our lips meet one again, in a short kiss before I lay my head on her chest. Allowing her heartbeat to lull me to sleep, her warmth enveloping my tired soul. We were happy, we were together. 

The radiating sun peeking through wakes me, I immediately feel the loss of warmth surrounding. Shooting up in bed, my eyes scan the room only to find myself alone once again. No traces of Lexa except for a small note on the pillow beside me. 

“Maybe someday I will be able to hold you in my arms again. A place where we can be more than almost” - L


End file.
